ThE WaRnEr's: A Successful Extubation!!!

I just have to start by saying that this post was one of those days that I never thought I would be able to write about! It was one of the hardest days we have gone through since we have been here! I had to hold off on most of the details because it is still just too much to handle, but it does feel good to write about it & let it out! :) So bare with me, I had to be pretty vague in some areas because it is still too raw.

The entire week before Ryker's big extubation day was very relaxing. They upped his nutrition a ton to get him as strong as possible & did regular pressure support sprints to build up the muscles in his lungs so he would be all prepared to breath on his own.

They set the date for Ryker's second try at extubation for Tuesday April 17th. I was SO nervous!! I knew that they had done so much more to prepare him this time around, but because of the way it all went down last time, I was terrified!! The night before I made sure to get as much sleep as possible so I could be okay staying up all night with him after extubation.

The time came & everything went amazing! They started him on the C-Pap right away which he is not a big fan of, but he did so well with it & he was so brave!!!

That night was a night I will cherish forever! I stayed up in his room all night & didn't even attempt to get some sleep because of the way things had gone the night after extubation the last time around. I wasn't a bit tired either. Here is my Facebook post from the morning after-

"Staying up all night with my sweet baby boy has been so worth every second it in so many ways!!! Not only is he still doing amazing with being extubated, but I got to hold him (even snuggle a little:), bathe him, wash his hair, change his incision dressings (that are looking so good & healing so well), & of course talk to him while he is wide awake (like always) in the middle of the night. What a PRICELESS night! I love this baby boy more than words can say! I cannot believe what my baby puts up with & still has such a sweet spirit! I love my little Miracle Man!!! :)"

The next morning at rounds the doctors were so impressed with how well Ryker was doing. They decided that they were going to restart his feeds right away & hopefully get him off C-Pap & onto High-Flow later on that day. I was so happy!!! I was finally feeling like we could get past this huge extubation hurtle & get onto recovery!

Within only a hour Jason had come up to Ryker's room & I had just gotten done telling him how amazing Ryker was doing. Then as I was just sitting by his bed talking to Ryker his machine suddenly started going off. I had been staring at him the whole time & nothing on him had changed. His color looked good & he was awake & seemed completely fine. I looked up at his monitor & his oxygen sats were declining rapidly. At first I didn't know if I believed it because he looked so good. Then a nurse came in at started looking him over, she had said kind of the same thing as me that she didn't think it was right cause he looked so good, then as she did Ryker's machine started blaring! Suddenly everyone came running into his room & as I stood there in shock as my sweet baby slowly lost all the color in his face.....

I backed off so everyone could get in to help & I stood there completely helpless! I can't even begin to describe all the feelings & emotions that were rushing through my mind at that horrible moment! I just wanted to grab him & take him away from all of this! God- why does my sweet baby have to go through so much just to live a half normal life!?! His oxygen begun to come back up & everyone started to relax but still watch very closely & cautiously. At that moment I looked over at my sweet husband who was sitting in the window seat just to the side of Ryker's bed with his elbows on his knees & his face in his hands. I wanted to go over to him & be there for him, but then I was terrified of leaving Ryker's side! We were both so scared! Seeing things no parent should ever have to see their child go through! We both just waited as the doctors said he was okay & everyone begun to walk out.

Then within maybe 60 seconds it happened again, but this time instead of his oxygen sats dropping to the 30's they were down to the teens! Everyone came running again, this time much more frantically than before & once again I backed off so they all could get to him. I couldn't breathe I just stared helplessly with tears rushing down my cheeks as my beautiful baby boy went completely limp & his entire body turned blue. Part of me now wishes that I would have closed my eyes or gone & sat by Jason so I didn't see the horrible things that I saw. My sweet helpless baby seemed so far away & I couldn't help him!

Jason & I went through things that day that no parent in this world should ever have to go through! & sadly being here in the hospital as long as we have I have seen things like this & worse happen all the time! It is so heartbreaking! I am so grateful that Ryker is not my first child or honestly don't know if I could do it again! My sweet boy has to go through so much just to live a normal life.... a life that so many take for granted.

This went on for a while & finally after a few times the amazing doctors & nurses got Ryker stable! Thank you Lord!!! This was a time to both Jason & I felt like was an eternity! After they got him stable & everyone but Ryker's nurse had left the room, I went over to my sweet baby boy, laid my head by his head & just sobbed uncontrollably! My sweet husband came & stood by me & started rubbing my back...I didn't know if I could take anymore! I could hardly breathe & there was nothing that I could do to stop the tears from rushing down my cheeks.

After a while of me continuing to cry by Ryker's side, the nurse said to me "It's okay Mom, he is good now" & I looked at Ryker and said "I don't feel like he is, he doesn't look okay" She said "all his numbers are great & he is stable, what can I do to make you feel better?" She was so sweet & was trying so hard to help but I just wasn't okay. I felt like there was something wrong! After a while of going through this & just not feeling right Jason convinced me to get some fresh air. By the time we came back we found out that because of me bawling & not leaving my gut feeling alone that there was something wrong, the nurses got a few other doctors involved to make sure everything was in fact okay.

Turns out everything wasn't okay. The amounts of the medications that Ryker was on were supposed to be cut in half at extubation because I guess they become stronger in your body once extubated & breathing on your own. Also, they had added a blood pressure medication that morning that he was not tolerating well & all things together were making him look the way that I didn't feel good about.

Dr. Marx came in & told me that today is one of those days that "The Mother's instinct was at it's best!" He said "we know medicine and all the hospital stuff but you know your baby better than anyone & Moms are usually right about this sort of stuff." So thank goodness that I listen to my "Mommy gut" as Kristen calls it :)

So they decided to hold his sedation meds for a while until they got all out of his system & to make a very long days story short- Ryker was soon back to his regular self of being adorably cute & alert!! With that I have to say Thank you all SO much for all your prayers! Without God's help in this I know my sweet baby boy would not be here any longer.

I LOVE THIS BOY!!!

:::Here are a few pictures of Ryker after extubation:::