Sorry it's been so long!

I know I have been horrible about blogging these days. I came to a halt with blogging on July 13th when Ryker had gone into a Cath & then had an extremely hard night, almost going into Cardiac Arrest & us almost losing him. Ever since this night I have tried writing a blog update over a dozen times & I get too emotional & can never finish. It used to be so healing for me to blog, almost like my coping mechanism through all of this, but then came that night & now a few more that have been even harder & I just can't do it right now. In all honestly, it comes down to- I can't think about the way I feel, because it hurts too bad! One day though I will finish the post I have tried to work on so many times before & after that I will one day get up to date on my blog. Once this happens I will let everyone know, but until then feel free to check out Ryker's FB page for little updates. Through this whole journey I have wanted so badly to put my true thoughts & feelings into words so that one day my sweet little Ryker can read it, so I really hope that one day I can finish! :)