Recovery Floor :)

Monday (April 23rd) morning finally came!! One part of me was so excited for two reasons- because Ryker was going to the recovery floor today & that Jason was headed to Utah to pack up our stuff so we can get our kids out here....but then the other part of me was sick! I hated that Jason had to leave & I would be here alone. But I knew that was the only way to get our family back together so I tried my hardest to be strong.

When it came time for him to go, Jason said bye to Ryker telling him "please be so good for Mommy buddy" I had already told myself I wasn't going to cry because this was going to be such a good thing for him to get there & get back quickly....but it was a lot harder than I thought. I walked him out to Chris' car & as I hugged him goodbye I about lost control of my emotions, so I told him quickly how much I love him & I walked away. I so badly didn't want to cry because this was a good day, a day I had looked forward to for such a long time- yet I just don't know how many more times I can handle saying bye to the people I love most!!

As I headed to Ryker's room Lori came into the hospital to spend time with me while Chris took Jason to the airport. She asked me how I was doing & I had to fight back the tears...I wasn't okay & I knew I wasn't & I couldn't hide it. Lori like always was so sweet & helpful, put her arm around me & helped me through it! I don't know what I would do without her at times. She seems to always be there when I am on the edge of a breakdown...always crying to her & trying my hardest not seem like a complete crazy person while I'm doing it :) Thank you Lori for being such a good friend!!

Around 3pm we were in our way to the recovery floor!!! Not only did we get moved...but we got moved to our own room :) Most the recovery rooms are two patients with a curtain in between. So I was really excited to have peace & quiet, especially after being the CICU for 5 weeks!

That night was a pretty mellow one, but the next night Ryker was just not doing good! He had a fever that just wouldn't go away (he had it for a few days, but it was getting progressively worse) & he just seemed so uncomfortable! At about 5am after hours of trying my hardest to comfort him, his nurse came in & said "you need to get some sleep, I will take good care of Ryker, you lay down." So after sleeping for about an hour & a half I got up & went to the nurses station to get Ryker from the nurse, when I saw him I was sick! He was so comfy in her arms, however his face had a grey tone to it. It scared me so bad!! He didn't look good! The nurse told me that's how he had looked all night, but it took for me to be away from him for a short amount of time for me to see it.

After a few hours of Doctors & Nurses coming in to look at him to see what was wrong, they almost sent us back to the CICU. But apparently Ryker heard what they were saying & proved to them that he did not want to go back, so after being on an antibiotic for what they thought must have been an infection causing the fevers, his color came back & he looked amazing! Yeah Ryker!!!

The next day he had to get a blood transfusion to get his red blood cell count back up, because of so many labs being done over the last couple days. After the blood transfusion he was a whole new baby! He had pink back in his face & was smiley & happy as could be!!

The next couple of days Ryker did amazing! He was bottle feeding really well & they even let me nurse him! :) On Saturday they begun discussing getting his Broviac line (kind of like a PICC line but in his belly for IV meds) taken out next week so we could go home a few days after that! It was really happening! We were going to be able to go home in a little over a week!

On Saturday afternoon it was an emotional time because I knew my girls at home were having to say bye to their Daddy again. He had gotten to Utah on Monday & they got there on Thursday, since then they have never wanted to leave his side! Loving him & hanging on him as he was trying to pack up our house. Poor Braylee found out he was leaving on Saturday & sobbed to him begging him to let her go with him. Knowing it was going to be a 40 hour drive (with no stops) there was just no way Braylee could go. She was devastated!! So once again my poor girls had to say bye to their Daddy :( But at least this time they knew that they would be with us in only 5 days!!! :)

Sunday began with my poor baby boy screaming every time anything would go into his belly. Today is Tuesday (Yes, I am finally at current time:) & they are still trying to figure out why this is happening. All day yesterday was a sad day! He was crying so much & in so much pain that I couldn't help but cry myself! I had many Doctors coming in trying figure out what was wrong & trying to change things, but everything what they were trying to change just didn't make any sense to me, so I finally became a total "Mama Bear" & told them all that they were wrong & that it was his tummy & had nothing to do with his heart & I wanted to speak with the GI (Gastrointestinal) Department NOW!!

Now after speaking with the GI Team we have a plan on how to hopefully get on the right track to fix little Ryker's tummy problem. So I pray that problem will soon be in the past so he can be comfortable & happy again!

On Thursday....THIS Thursday (as in 2 days from today) at 10:30pm all 4 of my kids are flying into Boston with my Mom!!! I am SO excited to see them I can hardly handle myself! Thursday cannot come fast enough!

I love these eyes!!!

Wearing my favorite jammies! Putting him in them made me cry a little cause they are the ones he wore the night before his surgery & I am just so grateful to have him in them again!!!

He is just so beautiful!!!

Sleepy boy! His scar is healing SO good!!

My handsome boy after getting his oxygen tube out :)