Back to the CICU

The last 4 days have been absolutely AMAZING because of having my kids here....yet SO INCREDIBLY hard because my sweet boy has been sent back to the CICU.

Early Friday morning I got a call from Ryker's nurse saying "I'm really sorry Rachel, I didn't want to have to call you, but Ryker isn't very happy & has been miserable since about 2am. I shut off his feeds again because he just didn't seem to be tolerating them & now we will be having general surgery come take a look at him to see if there is something else that we are missing." Shortly after that I had to speak with a general surgeon to see if anything else needed to be done to help Ryker from his end.

My heart sunk....I had just had the BEST night with my kids, yet instantly I begun feeling so guilty that I had left Ryker! I knew he was with my Mom & that she would help in every way possible but I still just knew I needed to be there for him!

By the time we got back to the hospital they had already sent Ryker & my Mom back to the CICU & begun running numerous tests on his digestive tract to hopefully find some answers to his pain. I was devastated walking in there seeing my baby back in the place we had just pulled him out of! We had intentionally waited until Ryker was on the floor to finally get my kids our here & now that they were here & we were all so excited to finally all be together as a family, Ryker was back in the CICU & because they only allow 2 people in the CICU room at a time we knew we wouldn't be able to spend anytime all together.

My first instinct was to be so angry with myself for leaving Ryker, thinking "If I hadn't left this wouldn't have happened" But then after a while I came to peace with it all telling myself, Jason & my Mom numerous times that this has happened for a reason because I KNOW in my heart that I was suppose to leave to be with my other kids that night & for whatever reason Ryker is trying to tell us something else that we wouldn't be able to see any other way but this. We just have to be patient & listen, there is a reason for this.

After numerous tests on his digestive tract came back negative for malrotation, blockage or worse than mild reflux. The Dr's began to wonder if it was actually his heart function that was causing his tummy to hurt. From there they did an echo, EKG & numerous other tests along with many blood draws, followed by blood transfusions to try to find an answer.

By Saturday morning there were still no answers. The Dr's told me that if they still didn't have any answers by Monday they would have to send Ryker to the Cath Lab. Through this whole process I have begun to despise weekends!! Every time the weekend comes everything seems to be put on hold & all the Doctors that I would like to talk to about anything going on are off for the weekend. So after being a little frustrated about having to wait til Monday to get any answers I decided that I needed to take this time & focus on my 4 amazing kids that were here & spend some good quality time with them!

I spent another night at the hotel with my family while my Mom stayed with Ryker. It was great because I was able to have a good amount of time with everyone while I was there. I spend the first half of the night snuggled up with my girls & then half way through the night I moved into the other bedroom to snuggle up with my sweet Husband since we weren't able to have much "us" time lately, then the next morning I was able to have some good quality time with my boys just hanging out & talking while everyone else was still asleep. It was a great time with everyone!

Sunday my boys- Jason, Trett & Jadd got an amazing opportunity to go to the Red Sox game & sit front row in the owners seats. As much as I wanted so badly to go with them, I knew it would be a great chance for them to have some good quality "guy time" :) I was so happy for them! My Mom & I stayed at the hospital with Ryker & my girlies. For part of the day the hospital was putting on a Family Fun Day with all sorts of fun things for the kids, so my girls had a blast.

By Sunday night the attending Doctor of the CICU told me to plan on Ryker going into the Cath Lab by 10am tomorrow morning. As much as I was glad that we would hopefully soon have some answers as to whats going on with my sweet baby, I was so sad for it to! I hated every time he had to go anywhere to get things like this done. I just pray it all goes well!

 Here are a few pics of the kiddos time here so far... :)

Ryker with his biggest brother Trett :)

Addi loves her baby!!!

Braylee was SO happy to see her brother again!

 

 

 

Sweet Jadd talking to Ryker

LOVE THIS!

My boys at their Red Sox game

Bray, Jadd & Addi LOVE the musical stairs!

Playing on the playground with Daddy!! :)

My two little princesses

Communicating in ways we may never know :)

Addi, Jadd & Braylee all on their assorted electronics :)

Addi with her face paint

Braylee painting a monkey for Ryker